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Such a bad place……..

Cry

Posted 17th October 2011 913

Feel like I’m having the worst day of my life. Got far too much stuff on my mind and can no longer block it out, it’s driving me crazy. My Nana, the best person in my life, most amazing person ever, is dying of cancer. I’m struggling to visit her now cos she’s not herself anymore, she looks so ill and frail and it’s killing me to see her like that. Feeling selfish for not going to see her, but it hurts too much. Feel like I can’t to anyone about it or I’ll just break down and don’t want to put it on anyone else. On top of this 3 members of my closest family are victims of sexual abuse and the court case is only days away, trying to be strong for them when I can barely function myself is impossible. On top of this I’ve just started seeing a guy, a guy who seems great and he has been giving me a reason to smile. He doesn’t know any of this as I don’t want to put my troubles on him, but today he seems like a different person, not the guy I’ve come to know and today of all days this is the last thing I need, another day it may not have had such an effect, but today it’s killing me. I hope tomorrow is better…………

hell

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