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Such a mess

Cry

Posted 22nd January 2017 2216

I feel like my brain has been all scrambled these last few months since I have been having a crush on a guy at work. I am a gay man in my 30s and feel embarrassed that I still get crushes on guys that are more than likely to be straight. This guy called Jay started work a few months ago and works in the same team as me. He is very cute and likeable and he is popular with everyone in our office. I have been training him a lot on tasks that we do and he does ask me a lot of questions about work stuff. Normally everytime we talk we seem to smile and laugh with each other. It is like we have a connection but it might just be that he is being friendly like he is with other people in the office.

He is a keen traveller and goes solo travelling a lot. In a few months he is leaving the job to go travelling around europe. I will be very sad to see him go as will other colleagues. It will probably affect me more because of this silly crush i’ve had and it is going to be very hard for me. I think what is bothering me the most is if we get a new guy to replace him if he is as likeable as Jay I may end up having a crush on him too. I don’t really want that cycle to be continuing as I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s shit being gay and single and finding someone attractive that is not even interested in the same gender.

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