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Terrible, lazy, pompous and awfully smug colleague I have to suffer each day

Vomit

Posted 15th January 2015 1414

I just can’t stand this guy I sit opposite at work, he used to report to me but thank god I hired a deputy who he now reports to. He’s lazy, he tuned out of his job about 2 years ago, but gets paid pretty well and so hangs around doing very little. The most annoying thing is that he’s talented, he could be one of the most influential people here, but all he does is tick over. I spent nearly two years trying to get him to kick into gear, and now I have to hold his hand through every project I give him otherwise the results are just awful. His general attitude in meetings is incredibly immature and pompous.

Its got so far that I just resent his actual being now, all I can hear is this stunted weird half laugh/choke/grunt that he does when he’s got something funny to say in online chat rooms, probably about Pokemon or some equally wank topic, in their little pissing chat and he’s so fucking proud of. Just waiting for the pockets of laughter across the office, thats the recognition of a good funny, and then comes his whimpery high pitched whine-bark of smugness to follow.

And he’s ‘ill’ all of the time, always with the fucking tissues and Lemsip and moaning, and blocked nose. Sometimes because the office is quiet I can hear him slowly forcing his breath through his gacky nose, its disgusting and vile and makes me want to shower.

I would never do it because I don’t condone violence, but I dream about punching him in the face each and every day.

I just hope that I get to fire or make him redundant one day before I go, it would taste so sweet to wield the proverbial axe above his head and see the fear and realisation in his eyes. That would be my most enjoyable achievement here.

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