Posted 1st December 2015 2628

I met this guy a while ago. We were best friends instantly and we really hit it off. He’s funny and nice and adorable, and we share the same interests. Almost immediately, he told his friends he was REALLY into me, and it got around to me (we share a lot of friends). He said I was his “future girlfriend”
Originally I considered keeping him in the friend zone. He’s hot and I like him, but I wanted to be free. Then I started hanging out with him more…
We very gradually began to flirt. I was reluctant at first but damn he wore me down. Neither of us has confessed our feelings, so we’re just friends at the moment. But he’s my best friend and were really comfortable, so we’ve danced around the subject of who we like. I, being an idiot, said no one.
I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently, and fuck, I’m so hot and bothered. Every hour I think about fucking him.. I squirm or subconsciously gyrate my hips when I think about it. It’s driving me INSANE. I can’t focus at all. I want to do everything with him.. I want to fuck him!!
That’s not me! I’m a virgin, but I have a a lot of experience. Every time I’ve hooked up with guys, I’m never that excited about even if they’re hot… More like bored. Guys have tried to do it a bunch of times, but sex didn’t seem very fun, seemed more like a rite of passage. But I’ve never felt this intensely about hooking up… God I’ve been wet for three days straight. And I’m not even gonna describe the dreams I’m having.
We had the opportunity to hook up a few weeks ago. We were alone, and kind of cuddling, but he never made a move. When I left I was so mad and even hornier. Damn, he’s messing me up. But I found out he told his friend something… He doesn’t want me to just be some hookup like the girls he’s been with before (he’s had sex). He wants to take it really slow with me. To make it more special. And he was afraid I wasnt that interested (there’s no way for him to know if I was, cuz I vehemently denied liking anyone to his face. Oops, that was a blatant lie).
God, that made it SO much worse. That’s the sweetest thing ever, but I hate it bcuz if he keeps waiting I’m gonna explode. I want what I don’t have… And as soon as he so much as kisses me, I’m probably gonna jump his bones. I want him so bad :<
I’ve been dropping more hints.. Still subtle, but they’re something. I had him help me pick out which Victoria secret bras would be the hottest. We always say “I love you” or “babe” or “relationship goals” kind of joking, kind of not. I was so goddamn tempted to send him risky photos out of the blue, thank god I didn’t tho. But I did drunk text him saying I missed him.
Fuck. I’m constantly aroused, I can hardly sleep. I’m crazy. I don’t even know how to deal with myself. My hormones are a mess. I’ve never been anything like this. Hell, I thought I was asexual at one point, cuz I was so indifferent about sex. I was so wrong
I just want him to grab my face and kiss me the next time I see him, and hopefully do other stuff. I just bought an absurd amount of sexy bras and underwear just to get me through the next two weeks that I won’t be seeing him. Not that I neglected my hygiene at all before, but I’ve been going above and beyond. I’m actually getting a lot of attention from other boys (I think they can sense my condition), but it doesn’t matter. I want him and only him.
God, I’m such a mess. Wish me luck. ;)

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