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I want to talk about my own mental health. Chances are, I won’t have the will power to share this with my friends/family. If anyone is somehow able to read this, please, just don’t judge me….
I have depression. I fight frequent anxiety attacks when trying to sleep. I have thought about suicide. I use the internet to block out the silence, the hollow feeling in my own brain. Books take me somewhere else, anywhere other than my own life.
When I go outside, and people try to politely talk to me, I can barely manage 2 words before getting too shy and walking away. Talking about myself, is impossible.
I have no friends that listen to me.
I have cut myself off from other people, as they only seemed to hurt me.
The only things make me happy now are my pets, books. and music.
My mother threatens to take away my pets, which make my nightly anxiety attacks worse.
My mother is also aware of my depression. And I told her about my first suicide attempt. That was almost a year ago. I have tried to kill myself 5 times since then. No help has ever come.
That is how the books go, person asks for help and help is given. My story seems broken though.
My pets, Vinney, Zita and Amber have had to stop me from killing myself. Vinney often has to calm me down during an anxiety attacks, by generally purring in ear and cuddling me.
It is hard to pinpoint where this all started. But it got very bad last year on my 15th birthday, the day that all my ‘friends’ forgot. When my mother promised me help that never came.
So this is me. And my insanity.
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Posted by Anonymous 11th May 2016
If someone did hurt you, you should tell somebodyPost a confession or rant now! It’s completely anonymous.
Posted by Serpentine 6th May 2016
I empathize with you everything you wrote I’ve been through myself and I wish I could say it will get better as soon as you snap your fingers but that would be a lie but my pets got me through a lot my mother didn’t really help either honestly the biggest enemy you have is you I’m 23 going on 24 and I’m just starting to heal I’m trying my best to be social it’s not easy it took me a while to figure out sometimes being alone is ok because being alone doesn’t mean your lonely it’s a process and it does get better as for your anxiety I’m a sufferer of anxiety as well it helps for me and hopefully if you decide to try it as well it will help you also first lay flat on your bed close your eyes and start counting while your counting breath as calmly as possible and focus on things that make you feel happy a loved one your pets even let your mind drift into a fantasy world and just let go of that stress I hope this helps it may take a while but it does get better