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Too selfish of me?

Sweat

Posted 17th March 2011 80

It’s probably really selfish of me to think this, but for once I wish someone would notice me. I send out greeting cards to my friends when it’s their birthday, or when something good happened to them, so I send a congratulations cards, or even just a random ‘I’m thinking of you’ card. Recently I started getting a bit of pocket money and money from odd jobs here and there and I can safely say that 85% of my money goes to someone else, mostly in the form of gifts. The other 15% I keep for my university expenses such as bus fare and the occasional lunch. Yet today, after blowing almost $200 yesterday on things that all ended up with other people, I can’t help but wonder - why doesn’t anyone write a card to me back? I don’t get things in the mail, or from someone in person. Hell, I don’t even have any friends at uni since they moved to a separate state entirely. And now I see you all on Twitter, planning on sending gifts to everyone but me. I can’t help but feel a bit sad. The person I think is my best friend constantly drops hints about things she wants and I can’t help but to buy them for her even though I tell myself not to…and I’m not doing that any longer. Sometimes I just feel like as long as I can buy her things that she wants, she’s allowing me to stay around her. And she’s the one who has a steady job, unlike me. I feel so used. :(

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