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Torn…

Question

Posted 3rd January 2012 05

So, I keep thinking that I need to meet up with the ex, purely for closure reasons (+ the added bonus of seeing him for the first time since the breakup on MY TERMS), the more I think about it, meeting up, telling him that I forgive him, his wallowing and guilt are self indulgent, I am not angry any more - the more I think it’s a good idea, but also, the angrier I become again. It has been two years, he was my first love, and I’m fed up of being scared of going into town in case I see him. He has seen a few of my friends, and run away, and I think it’s high time he got the fuck over himself. He broke my heart, and I want to show him that I’m okay. More than okay. But I’m scared that 1) I might realise that I am far less over him than I thought or 2) that it may turn into a slanging match (one sided, he doesn’t slang!).

Part of me is terrified, because it took me the best part of 18 months to get over this git, but the other part knows that it is high time that I took the mature route: half a pint of lager, some small talk, and a little bit of “you owe me an explanation”, before a true parting of the ways.

Its just too horrendous.

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