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What the HELL am I doing to myself??

Burn

Posted 30th April 2013 2234

I’m falling too deep. This is bad. I got that jealous hurt feeling in my stomach for the first time today. Like…why should I care? He’s not my boyfriend. He doesn’t want to be. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship and dammit I’m not supposed to want it either. I don’t know how it changed. I think it’s because he’s doing everything that makes me want him. He’s staying at just the right distance. Enough to piss me off and make me crazy. Enough to make me swoon when he finally gives me attention. Fuck him. Seriously. How does he have this knowledge? How does he know EXACTLY how to make me fall? It’s the chase. It has to just be the chase. What other explanation could there be? He’s not even someone I would remotely consider dating if he weren’t so DAMN attractive and cute and funny and… he can be so sweet…FUCK ok I would date him in a heartbeat in any situation. I feel like I’m getting my heart broken and it’s not even his fault because he accepted no responsibility for it. I just tossed it to him and ran away. What other choice did he have but to catch it? And what makes him obligated to hold on to it? It’s my dumb fault for not keeping that thing under lock and key….

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