Posted 2nd April 2017 214

So for the second time in my life I let someone in. Never been so at peace or so content in all my life. Then in last couple of weeks he started “going on the rip” which essentially means staying up for days on end taking drugs and drinking with his so called friends. During this time they came first and he came first. I’ve been invited along when I have free time but my gut was just telling me there was something wrong. From the outset he made a promise and it was the only one I wanted….he promised to tell the truth. He had given me all his passwords as a show of faith and never once in almost a year did I use any of them beyond when he asked me to email time sheets to his employer which had to come from him. He’d send the photo and I’d log in to email it. That was until last night….He’d been on the rip and not really been in touch which was unusual. I logged in to his messenger to find messages from his mates sister. Innocent enough kind of but he was inviting her to his after 3am. I knew him and his mates were still up but I felt uncomfortable. Then my new employer phoned this morning asking for an electronic copy of a document. I went on google docs not realising it was signed in to his as I’d used it when doing timesheets only to be presented with his face first in his mates sisters tits in a club. There is no rhyme or reason for this to have happened. I felt hurt and upset. I didn’t want him to know I knew because I wanted to see if he’d tell me she’d been there etc. He called me an hour ago and asked how his night was and if anything exciting happened to which he replied “nah…nothing of note”…..so I’m left with why? He has lied by omission and we were never that couple and now we are….well that’s a soon to be ex-couple. He doesn’t have to have done anything other than was seen in the picture. I believe that you should never take someone’s choice away. When you lie thats what you do. Hurt me with the truth and there is a chance I may forgive you. Lie to me and thats it. Truth is I love him….but I love me more. I deserve respect and so much more but above all I deserve to be happy. And even still, I believe that he does but it seems clear he cannot possibly be happy if he feels he can’t be honest and dare I say he feels the need to do that. So why? Why do people ruin good things. He and everyone he knows, family and friends alike say they’ve never seen him so happy his whole life….so why fuck it up?!?!

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