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When will I stop being such a loser?

Cry

Posted 29th January 2013 923

So, I’ve realized just recently: I’m the biggest loser on the entire planet. I sit at my computer and watch people do stuff so I feel like I’ve accomplished something with my life… I really haven’t.

These plans I make for myself? They’ll never ever happen, even if I strive for them. I want to join the AF, but I’m a fatass who cries when someone talks about dead animals. I want to go to this great college, but I’d never be able to pay for it. I want to marry this guy, but he doesn’t know I exist and he’d probably just reject my feelings because I’m uber ugly and smell funny. I want to travel the world, but I’d never get the money to do so. I want a job, but nobody will hire me because I have no prior experience in the work place. I want to make friends in real life, but I’m scared of people. I have so many problems that I just want to give up: why don’t I? Because I still have some tiny bit of faith that something- maybe a miracle- will happen one day and I’d be able to do everything on my bucket list.

Believe it or not, I’m lonely and want that one amazing thing to happen where I turn my world upside down and shake it around a little bit. People say I’m beautiful? I disagree, I’m flattered, but I think you’re just being nice. I have a great personality? Hell no, I stutter, I’m super selfless, I’m scared to speak to anyone, I have attention issues and don’t speak up. I’m sweet? I’m a hot head who defends everything I believe in and get kicked down my goddamn knowledge. Fudge your words, I know what I am and you can’t tell me what you think I am. I’m a disgrace to my family name and have done nothing to be proud of in my entire life.

I hear of this brave unmovable child in my mothers’ stories of when I was younger; I wasn’t scared of anything, I didn’t cry when I messed myself up, I did what I wanted and was such a charismatic young girl who cared for everyone and everything: I didn’t even step on or kill bugs because I always believed they had a family to return to and feed.

…Where did that girl go?…

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Comments

Posted by Anonymous 7th August 2015

Dear Anonymous,
It isn’t bad to be a loser. I’m one too. In love with books, getting good grades, and not staying up late. Embrace the nerdiness. Don’t let people push you down. Be confident in who you are. There is nothing wrong in being yourself.

Stay Strong,
Anonymous.

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