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Since the first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem, I admit: I have become racist.
I didn’t plan on it, I didn’t want to, and I didn’t expect to. But when I studied abroad in Japan, I found out something about myself.
I fucking HATE white men.
They’re rude, selfish, immature, and all of the white men I’ve met here generally talk about three things (in order of frequency): Whining about how much they hate America (even if they aren’t American, but the Americans went into “AMERICA SUX!!1!” rants much more frequently), Taking advantage of Japanese girls (in explicit and cruel ways sometimes), and how Japan is some kind of heavenly paradise (it isn’t, every country has problems and Japan is no exception.)
Also they blast their biased opinions out and trample the opinions of others on a fairly regular basis, and believe that they’re always right. And when I go out with my girlfriend who happens to be Japanese, I get looks from white people I see every now and then, who look at me, look at her thinking god knows what, and look at me again with a kind of smug pride on their face like they’re imagining seducing her because they’re more handsome than me (good thing our relationship isn’t based on physical appearance alone or they’d be able to.)(also I know that I’m way overthinking a simple glance and probably assuming things that may or may not be true- but it still unsettles me every time I catch their glances) And going on the internet more times than not increases these feelings because 90% of the posts I see about Japan are anime or porn. And then many of them have the gall to, doing all those things, be smug about their own set of knowledge about this country, and are all to quick and extremely eager to point out someone who is wrong, and are way too competitive in a class.
Maybe I’m just really unlucky and coming across the most douche-y white guys on the planet. Certainly I’ve met exceptions and a few close friends I’ve met here happen to be white. But on the whole, I’m having a bad problem with prejudice. Whenever I see a white guy in Japan, I either assume he’s a sex-addicted selfish douche, or he’s a pompous asshole.. who is also a sex addicted selfish douche.
I try hard not to.. But it’s hard. Suggestions to get rid of prejudice and think in a clear, unbiased manner? Please help.
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