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Why the fuck am I so damn nice?!?

Fire

Posted 4th February 2010 43

Honestly, I don’t know. But I can rarely ever bring myself to just come out and tell people how I feel, about them or just things in the world. I think it, but don’t say it.

And oh god, how I wish I could come and say what I want to say to my best friend…He’s a great guy, yeah, but now he’s teetering dangerously on my ‘If you don’t stop acting like a spoiled princess who has to have everything your way’ meter and I may end up punching him in the face.

He has to have everything his own fucking way even if he doesn’t ’seem’ to. Like for example, today. We both play Wow (And I’m proud of that) and he asked me to come help him out with some elite quests. So I agree, and since I don’t want to switch characters, I go to help him out on my character that’s only a lvl higher then him and I think the quests were higher then my lvl. He’s a caster, and I’m a druid (cat dps). He asks me to tank, knowing full fucking well I don’t have taking experience or any idea as to a rotation for tanking, and I agree because I naively figured it couldn’t be that damn hard. Well it was harder then I thought. So we died a couple of times on the first guy, big deal. Shit happens.

Then we move onto the next guy and I’m still not used to being a tank so it takes us a while to even get the elite out of the air. Then when we’re killing it, a hordie comes along and kills us in the middle of it. Big whoop. It’s a pvp server, that shit happens all the time. But do we go back and try again? No. He, being the fucking little princess he is, gets pissed and just logs off and gets off the computer. And I’m left there wondering just wtf crawled up his ass and died.

I admit, I dated him once before he was as bad as he is now. But I broke up with him because….he was to fucking clingy! Every day almost when we were dating he was asking to spend time with me, and almost insisted I come over every damn day. Okay, I’m all for spending time with my bf, but heres the thing…JUST BECAUSE I’M FUCKING DATING HIM DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO BE WITH HIM 24/ GODDAMN 7! I want some time to myself you know! Some time to relax and not have to worry about dealing with him!

And now that I’m not dating him it seems like he’s fucking controlling me. He ‘jokes’ around with me but when I joke back in the same fashion he gets pissed, he still wants to spend too much goddamn time with me and thinks that he has to be invited to EVERY. LITTLE. THING. I fucking do without him. Like say…I wanna go somewhere with a girlfriend of mine or have a girls night. He gets mad that I am even thinking about it, and then says that by doing those things without him and calling it a girls something, that it’s like saying ‘hey lets go do something fun without — and enjoy ourselves.’ Okay yes, I admit it’s a bit like that, but hey, guess what? YOU HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS TOO! YOU HAVE GODDAMN GUYS FRIENDS YOU CAN SPEND TIME WITH! GO BUG THEM!

Speaking of friends, if I’m friends with someone who he doesn’t even know outside of maybe seeing them in class and he’s never gotten to know them, he dissaproves of it. God damn it man! You have no right to judge my friends you don’t know! Hell! Your the fucking reason I’m not closer to more goddamn people because your my fucking shadow it almost seems and you act like a total dick when they’re around and push them away from me!

But the one thing he does that pisses me off the most is how he has to influence my art. He sees something he doesn’t like in one of the pictures I draw, he tells me to change it. If I don’t, he gets all pissy again and storms off as if he had been the one to request the picture/think it up and I’m screwing up his vision. Normally, I do just to avoid that, and besides, I can always redraw it at home. I’ve taken to not sketching near him to avoid it all together actually.

I swear he has more moodswings then I do, and I’m damn proud of my ability to mood swing I suppose you’d put it.

Urgh! I just wanna fucking punch him! He’s a dumbass who has to get everything fucking right nomatter what and if he’s wrong then the other person is a bastard to him! He needs a serious reality check, and he needs to be more fucking open minded. I swear, his world is almost black and white! Very little gray in there, thus often I have to hold back some of my funner ideas because He’ll shoot them down.

Man…this helped a bit…but still more anger buried down there…Yeah…methinks I’ll probably be back here soon….

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