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even though i have five exams to study for next week, even though i have so much homework due next week, even though i have so many things i need to do, i’m still procrastinating doing these things, doing useless things instead.
it’s pathetic that i cant force myself to focus. i need to get my work done, and yet, it staring at me remorsely, not getting any more finished than it was five minutes ago.
i hate how pathetic i am, how useless i am, and still i cannot fix it.
i hate how this sounds, but i honestly just want to get away from this all, to be able to sleep soundly, not having anxiety attacks, not having to worry about what the enxt day will bring. just to have a blank mind. just to be able to sleep.
but as if that will happen with all the work and the studying i need to do that i just cant bring myself to face.
i hate myself so insanely much.
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Posted by Rainbowgirl 6th July 2012
I am just the same as you, I was diagnosed with ‘manic depression’ now commonly called ‘bi polar disorder’ over 30 years ago. I absolutely cannot motivate myself to do the stuff I have to, my house is a complete shit tip, my life is a confused mess. The only thing I manage is to get to work every day on time……. Oh Happy Days