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i don’t wanna kill myself because i am catholic and i don’t wanna be tortured for eternity in the worst ways possible, but i seriously do not want to be here. my life is decent. average everything, nice parents, nice home, people treat me nice, i never got bullied, etc. but my mind.. AHHHHHHH i had no say in this decision. i feel horrible. i wanna hurt myself and everyone, i wanna torture people in the worst (best) ways possible for the heck of it. i feel numb most of the time, the lower i get the higher i climb and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine. (marina ref.) there is no point for me to live. this world is messed up. i try going to confession just to be prepared for someone to kill me. that reminds me, i need to go to confession. i bet my life would be so much better if everyone was a banana or if i was never born. if someone ever tells me that i have no life, i would tell them “i wish!” i have no idea what i am gonna do now. AND SCHOOL oh wow.. i need to go to a school where there is no homework, socializing with real life humans, tests, stress, doesn’t make me feel a lot more depressed, anxious, furious, hopeless and pretty much anything negative. school is so sickening. if i don’t go to school i won’t get a good job and if i don’t get a good job i won’t get good money and if i don’t get good money, i won’t have a good life and so forth. k gotta stop here, cya!
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