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i tried to relapse last night and today i told my friend and she got mad at me for not talking to her then. All i wanted to do then was hurt myself, but now i’m mad at myself for not trying to get help like i should have. So now i feel like a jerk for not telling her how i felt. I totally hate this. I need someone who will tell me it’s okay and tell me to talk to them next time if i can, not someone who will get mad for me not telling them the first time. And i know she would get annoyed if i told her how i was feeling last night, because i’m apparently the happy one that always has to be happy. I just totally quit trying to be her friend and trying to make myself better.
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