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i’m a mess

Posted 13th February 2015 07

backstory: Rachel and I were friends from 2nd grade up until last year. We were really close. During middle school, there was a boy named Rylie that had an annoying crush on me. I’m the type of person that will be a complete and total bitch if our feelings are not the same. If you like me more than I like you, that’s a problem, and I will be a bitch to you so you will hate me and stop crushing on me. It’s just who I am. Anyways, that’s exactly what I did to Rylie. I was a complete bitch to him. But he didn’t give up. Instead, he would talk to Rachel in hopes of her changing my mind. It didn’t work. In the end, Rachel and Rylie became really good friends. Going into my sophomore year, Rachel and Rylie started dating. It didn’t bother me. I didn’t care. I still didn’t really like him and he wasn’t too fond of me. The second semester my sophomore year, we were in the same classes. I mean. every. single. class. We started talking and became really good friends. Over the course of the semester, we became really comfortable with each other. I usually had my legs on his lap and vice versa. We would feed each other food and play video games during class. It was very innocent though. We never hung out alone, and the flirting was kept to a minimum. He was still dating my friend at the time. Sometimes we would text each other, but it was usually because we needed something from the other. At the end of the school year, he left to go to his dad’s for the summer. We hardly talked.


Fast forward: When he came back at the end of the summer, we hung out at our state fair together. He had his friend with him, and I was babysitting so we weren’t alone. However, he was still dating Rachel. At that point, Rachel and I’s friendship was a little rocky, but we still hung out. Going into the school year, Rylie and I again had every class together. We had gotten a lot more flirty towards each other. There were times when we hung out without Rachel. Just the two of us. We had a really laid back video production class that allowed us to roam the halls. On multiple occasions, we would sneak into the auditorium and hang out alone. On Halloween, we hung out afterschool until late at night. He told me that night he wanted to break up with Rachel. We also talked about us and our relationship. That weekend, he officially broke up with Rachel. Soon after, Rylie and I started texting/talking/hanging out more frequently. We also were very touchy. There were a few times where is hand was up my dress and I had my hand on his crotch. But we never kissed. Ever. One night, he hinted at asking me to our semiformal. He kept hinting at it and telling me he just had to think of a way to ask. I assumed we were going. My mistake. A couple weeks after he “asked” me, he told me he didn’t want to go anymore. People had began to talk about us and tell him things that weren’t true and he believed them. He stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out with Rachel. Rumors were flying. People hated me, hated him, or hated Rachel depending on who you asked.

Currently, Rachel doesn’t like me and Rylie doesn’t like me. And to be honest, I’m not sure I even like me.

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