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i’m so tired. always. everyday is the same miserable mess in which i cannot get things together. i was supposed to clean up this weekend. get happy. i promised people that i’d get happy. i really wanted to, i want to. i dont know if i actually try though, or if im waiting for it to happen. i don’t know, it’s hard. please trust me, it’s hard, but i’m trying to make it through. don’t blame me, give me time. i need time. i need someone to talk to me, to tell me i’m doing okay. if this sounds like i’m a narcissistic attention seeker, maybe i am. i just want to stop crying and pitying myself. i want to STOP thinking about myself. i’d like to focus on my work without anxiety and feeling useless, tired, hopeless, etc. and the strange this is that even though i want help, that i really need help tbh, everytime people pay attention to me, i want to be left alone? and then they get upset with me and i feel worse for trying to reach out? i drive my parents insane because of this and i feel so bad, i just cant express to them how i feel. i think this is it right now, this is basically what i’m thinking. i’m tired, i’m a smart kid who cries easily doing homework and needs to seriously grow up, and i need a rest/break/timeout in a situation where there is literally no ability for me to have that
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