Posted 24th July 2014 37

i hate that…so easy to fall into script. everybody wants to think there is somebody out there for them. actually pretty sure there is… just not here. and maybe not for me. dont know why, just turned out that way.

ahhhh walk thts were of few beings can effect me so. :(. just makes me sad but whatever gets your rocks off i guess. shrug. the season i suppose…..love is in the air. and seriously bad timeing. in reality where i live i have little to identify with. shrug. i have a great many big loves in my life but never the …one. words of soulmate. ahhh truely hubby was till he killedhiself. dont really know how to address that. for sure i believe in a lifetime commitment but who new life would bee so long and the commitment in this time and space involves a padded cell. mostly i accept that i cant change what is and address what’s in front of me. hiding is certainly an option.i accept that i am not purfect. i frequently fail but ummm i do bestest i can and hope my faith will put me on the right side of the fense in eturnity. certainly my belief in passing on things i dont think we r meant to get into. generally a lifestyle that most aint all that happy with :(. for me an easy pass….but really this is just a tad much….the stuff i avoid based in my beliefs wasnt really a problem. and really i aint all that nice to my body anddd occationally i consider deleteing peeps with prejudice buttttt i figure it’s just as well. ya cant smoke in jail. gezzzzzzz

and it aint like i dont know what i am missing. but for a great many reasons some i dont even get my place is reality and learning to deal i suppose. certainly my views r well known. fears really. and who knows maybe family for balance can make a difference. distructive and damaging and unavoidable. i do see a huge movement to addressing effects and limitations on a basic level. who knows.

and on some levels…. i am going to have a good ##### time. i insist. maybe a nervous breakdown and some cookies.

well i am just tickled ###ing pink that everybody is having a good time.

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