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my secret

Posted 18th November 2009 511

I call him my secret cause i don’t want no one to know i like him, he treats me like im something more than friend, like as if he likes me (sometimes) and other times he acts like he doesn’t know me. He calls me on the phone when he’s bored, & i always answer, i always want to talk to him. Maybe if i act like i don’t need him, then maybe i wouldn’t care so much about him. But it’s hard because we cruise everyday in school pretty much. Before he used to ask him to kiss me. He used to act like we were together, & that he really wanted to be with me, i thought he did. But then we fooled around one weekend, & then after that, things have been a little different. he acts like he doesn’t really know me in school, & when he calls me its not the same. we claim to be just friends, because we came into the school together, he’s like my orientation brother. but ever since that weekend we’ve been totally parted. Idk if it ’s just me & my negative thoughts or if i was really just a sidechick that he doesn’t even really care about. i cant talk to him about how i feel cause we’re not even on that level of telling eachother our feelings & how we feel. i really wish things were different between us, im secretly in like- with this boy. He’s adorably cute, & way out of my league. i know he hits up other girls. But when we cruise its about us, & his phone goes off, but he doesn’t answer it. idk :/ when we fooled around it felt good to be doing that with him, & i usually lose my feelings after i fool around with a boy, but this time? it made my feelings stronger. I honestly, don’t know what to do. ):

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