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I know this is such a tiny minuscule problem compared to the rest of the world’s problems, but it’s just really pissing me off. I met this guy in September and ever since then, not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of him. You think I’m exaggerating? I am not. Not a single day, and it’s annoying. So much thinking space in my head is occupied by thoughts of him. I just want to be free already. All I ever think about is how awkward I am around him or all the awkward things I’ve done around him and even awkward future situations I might get into with him. What pisses me off even more is that sometimes we’ll be talking for a week straight, and then all the sudden he just stops talking to me. I wish I knew what he thought of me, because if I’m just a toy he likes playing around with whenever he pleases, then I really would like to cut off all contact with him and forget I ever met him. But then there’s another side of me that’s saying, maybe I just annoy him sometimes. Of course I would love to be in a relationship with him, but how will that ever happen if he keeps doing what he does, its like an on-and-off relationship but we aren’t even in one. I don’t want to waste my time, yet I still like him a lot and he’s worth everything to me. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why even bother, we’re all just going to die in the end and everything is meaningless, especially this problem.
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