Posted 6th July 2013 38

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh my mom won’t let me see a psychiatrist or a counselor or psychologist and won’t give me any medication for a lot a mental things I have going on. 3 years ago i wanted to kill myself, and my school psychologist got me to say it and he had to call my parents and insisted that them knowing would help me because they would be more supportive and understanding of what was going on. so he told them, and he said that they were the only parents of any child that had not shed a tear, or expressed concerned or anything. my mom only apologized and said; “She’s just going through an angsty phase, don’t worry about it.” i have since talked with a few other counselors that he forced my parents to send me to and they all said the same thing - that is was highly unusual that parents take that kind of announcement so lightly. neither one has since mentioned it, and i still feel the same way. everyday it haunts me that my parents weren’t upset with me wanting to kill myself. everyone who has ever told me that no one cared about me are right. every person who ever told me that i was worthless and should kill myself - they are all right. even jimmy is right. no one cares about me. everything i do is wrong. my mom tries to put me into situations that make me super uncomfortable and just make everything so much harder. she puts me down daily and treats my brother like he’s a saint. she always complains that she and her mother were never close - but she’s the same. she is constantly bullying me “trying to make me a better person” and only bringing me closer and closer to a complete breakdown. i have a tumblr, and use it actively to find people like me - she ended up getting a tumblr and tracking me down - never following me - but just looking at my stuff. i found her blog eventually, and she had seen everything i’d ever posted, none of it too bad, except for my bio which pretty much illustrated the first part of this rant. i confronted her and she said she was “troubled.” she wants to talk to me about it later, but surprise surprise, she invited her friend over, we obviously aren’t going to be doing any tlaking

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