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ugh.

Posted 12th November 2010 38

i hate that you know so much about me, and yet don’t care.
i hate that i fell so hard for you and picked her over me.
i hate that you are the one guy i can’t say no too.
i hate that i can’t help having feelings for you after all this time.
i hate that you think its okay to play me, and i let you.
i hate that i hate you.
i hate that i don’t hate you, not even a little bit.

i hate that i don’t feel good enough.
i hate that my friends don’t pay attention enough to know that i’m pretending.
i hate that i have to smile for everyone while i’m crying on the inside.
i hate that i’m the “strong” one and that no one else ever offers me help.
i hate that i feel like i can’t express my feelings to anyone.
i hate that no one will listen when i want to talk about how much i miss my grandfather.
i hate that i feel like partying will solve everything and it doesn’t,
i hate how much i try to be a part of a group, and it doesn’t work.
i hate that i have to lie to feel cool.
i hate that every one thinks i’m a slut, and i’m not at all.
i hate that no one cares about me enough to see that i cry, all the time.

i HATE that i CAN’T express my self to even ME.
they’re my damn feelings why the hell can’t i describe me to me.
this is ridiculous.
and i hate all of this,

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