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what family?

Cry

Posted 157 days ago 13

Fuck this world, I hate my family. I know you are supposed to love them, but also they are the ones to protect you and love you and care- it’s hard to love them when they just want to bring you down and use you as an escape goat. All of them are cunts. My father is an abusive alcoholic who has abused me the most out of everyone because I fought back- no one can hurt me and get away with it, he has held me down while I had panic attacks and my mother told him to- she wouldn’t protect me when I was crying and begging for her help ( I was only a child with this happening from 8-14.)and my sister is quickly going down the same path, she has punched and kicked me and choked me. My mother thinks i’m a disgusting ungrateful monster because I have severe anxiety and depression with frequent panic attacks ( I wonder why…) and my aunt is a jealous bitch who has a shitty life because she is too lazy to do anything other than beg for attention from men and sleep all day (she is not depressed) she just doesn’t want to work or have any responsibilities and she takes out her jealousy on me because I haven’t given up on myself despite my struggles and I don’t throw myself at men. My brother just takes his rage out on me telling me he fucking hates me and wishes I would die because I woke him up so he could go to school. Fuck this world. Why am I getting all the negativity and hate. What did I do? Why do they treat me like I’m a psycho path who wouldn’t think twice about murdering them??? I try so hard to trudge through my depression with the pathetic support system I am stuck with until I save enough money to move the fuck out and never speak to those people again. They ruined my childhood- they took away my innocence by throwing me into the cold adult world with their verbal/physical abuse. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it when I was young or i’d get it. I wish I wasn’t scared to speak up as a child. I wish I could have been brave for myself when no one else would protect me. I wish I felt the love from my family. I wish I didn’t look at myself like a parasite because that family turned me into a depressed hateful mess. I wish was ok. After telling myself every day for 10 years one day it will be better, I’m still waiting for that to become true. I’m still waiting to have a strong will to live.

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